Rev Me Up!
by idealvibe
Summary: How could one Motorcycle cause damage of cataclysmic proportions? Based upon the events that unfolded in Chapter 465: Bad Blood Exhaust.


Hello everyone! This is short one-shot featuring Hisagi's_ highly_ talked about motorcycle in the latest Bleach chapter, "Bad Blood Exhaust".

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is purely fan made, and all Bleach characters and related Bleach things, along with Bleach trolololing belongs to Tite Kubo.

* * *

><p><strong>Rev Me Up<strong>

A BLEACH one-shot

* * *

><p><em>It had been a few weeks since Hisagi had snuck this odd contraption referred to as a "motorcycle" in the Human World, into the Seireitei. He had been on duty that night and clearly remembered the gang that had bluntly referred to themselves as "casual motorbike enthusiasts" blazing through the deserted dark streets of Karakura Town. Awed, and deeply intrigued he quickly jumped into his gigai and pursued the gang.<em>

_After a very interesting conversation when the leader of the gang had spent nearly two hours educating Hisagi about the mechanic of these strange bikes and how to properly ride it, Hisagi found himself departing back to the Seireitei with a brand new Ducati at his side. _

_It only took a few days for Hisagi to cause a commotion throughout the Seireitei with his new toy. After unsuccessfully crashing the motorcycle through a few dozen buildings, and almost running over quite a number of his superiors (Hitsugaya had then purposely started to take a completely different route to work after his near-death experience with the contraption) Yamamoto had ordered Hisagi to put the bike away for the safety of everyone in the Seireitei._

_With quite a few concussions under his belt, Hisagi found it best to oblige and secured the bike in the Division 9 shed where the extra uniforms, kendo swords, and various other knick-knacks were held._

* * *

><p>"Where on earth are you taking me, Abarai?"<p>

It was late, and instead of going to Byakuya's manor as they had planned, Renji had taken an entirely different course tonight, and appeared to be leading him to the Division 9 barracks. Renji held a steady finger to Byakuya's lips to silence him, a mischievous gleam in his eyes, "Shh, we don't want to get caught sneakin' around now do we? Now hang on we're almost —"

He paused and looked around, to find that the coast was clear. After giving Byakuya an affirmative nod, he approached the large shed, picked the lock and swiftly opened the door. Byakuya double checked the area and quickly followed behind his lieutenant, closing the door quietly behind them.

It was pitch black in the room they had found themselves in. Renji felt around for a light-switch, finding one, and flicking it on. Light burst into the confined space, temporarily blinding Byakuya for an instant. His eyes refocused and he then noticed what Renji was proudly standing next to.

"Taa-daa!" he exclaimed triumphantly.

Hisagi Shuhei's motorcycle. _That_ was what Renji had dragged him out here for?

"Didn't the Gener—," he started to say before Renji cut him off.

"I'm just pokin' around. No harm in lookin' right? C'mere and look at this!"

Byakuya hesitantly joined Renji's side, regarding the motorcycle in front of him with apparent distaste. Renji, however, was running his calloused hands over what appeared to be the seat of the odd thing. He quickly jumped to his feet and inspected the bike from every angle, jiggling the handles, positioning the light, and peering at the engine in awe.

"I do not understand why you are so fascinated by this thing, Renji. It appears to be an obvious death-trap," Byakuya said pointedly, making an effort to stay as far back from the motorcycle as he could. He was warily regarding it as if it were some feral beast that needed to be tamed and quickly done away with.

"Oh, don't be so chicken, Kuchiki! You fought that giant oaf, Yammy, and you're afraid of this?" said Renji, "So Hisagi had a few accidents, but he was an idiot for testin' it out in broad daylight where the whole Seireitei could see him."

"So you are assuming nighttime is going to be more safer? I deeply question your sanity sometimes."

To his horror, Renji had already clambered onto the vehicle and was beckoning for Byakuya to join him.

"C'mon cap'n, you honestly think I would let anything bad happen to ya? If humans in the Material World can ride 'em without a problem, why can't we?"

The noble could clearly hear the sound of the engine revving up in his mind, along with vivid pictures of the unavoidable crash that followed. What would everyone say if they heard that Byakuya Kuchiki was injured messing around with an object used by mere humans? His pride was far too high to be reduced to that. He visibly cringed, the laughter from all his colleagues piercing his mind like a dagger. A _very_ sharp one at that.

Although there was something about Renji sitting on that bike that stirred something within him. The tattoos, that long fiery mane of untamable hair; it just screamed wild. Something Byakuya had unfortunately found himself attracted to, despite his own cautious and refined personality. It also could have been the danger that excited him the most of all.

He grudgingly took his lieutenant's hand and sat firmly behind him.

"Are you positive you know how to work this contraption, Abarai?" he asked hesitantly, his heart pounding frantically in his chest. Renji grabbed the keys and felt around for the ignition, clumsily inserting his key into it. The engine roared, and Byakuya promptly gripped Renji's sturdy shoulders for dear life. The sound was louder than he had imagined, and the vibration radiating from the bike shook through his whole body.

"Yeah yeah, me and Hisagi messed around with it for a bit before he rode it for the first time. It's fine, nothin' to worry about," he answered nonchalantly.

A few more minutes of missing around with various switches and levers, it looked like Renji Abarai was set to go. His excitement seemed to be getting the best of him however; Byakuya noticed that the door was still closed from when they entered earlier.

"Wait, the door—" he had started to say.

Renji pressed down with full force on the pedal, and Byakuya felt his heart come to a stop as they proceeded to crash through the door—

and right through the wall of the next building across from them.

Somehow, Byakuya had landed underneath both Renji and the cursed contraption, his face headfirst into the stone ground. He felt humiliated, undignified, and wanted to kill his lieutenant for even_ talking_ him into this stupid idea in the first place. The sound rang like an explosion through the whole area and within minutes most of Squad 9 had gathered around the wreckage, along with Hisagi who was torn between anger from his wrecked motorcycle and undying laughter from the two who had wrecked it.

"…M-Maybe you were right about this bein' a b-bad idea in the first place…" Renji groaned. Byakuya responded with a threatening growl from under him.

Some things were better off left in Karakura Town.


End file.
